My Next Life
by Woody Allen
In my next life I want to live backwards,
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old peoples’ home,
feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy,
go collect your pension, then when you start work, you
get a gold watch and a party on your first day!
You work for 40 years till you are young enough to enjoy
You party, drink alcohol and are generally promiscuous,
then you are ready for high school.
You then go to Primary school, become a kid, you play,
you have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born.
And then you spend your last nine months floating in luxurious
spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap,
larger quarters every day, and then voila!
You finish off as an orgasm!!
I rest my case.