Recipe: Julio Child’s (Julia Child’s Puerto Rican Cousin) Famous Spicy Tuna Burgers

Julia Child had/has a few dark secrets. Including a Puerto Rican cousin who was considered a black sheep by the Julia Childs family.Simply because he was Puerto Rican.It turns out he just like Julia is a great chef.Well the one known as Julio Childs strikes again in my kitchen.

I wanted to have a burger today.I been off the red meat for a few months and didn’t want to cave in.So I hit speed dial number 1. Cause that is what Julio is…….Number motherfucking 0-N-E.

Julio: Que Pasa?
Me: WTF Julio.You know I’m on that Tonedeff shit.
Julio: Fuck Bro.You still banging those puerca’s?
Me: Shut Up.
Julio: What you need meng? I’m throwing darts at the poster for Julie and Julia.
Me:Again? Your one emo fuck Julio Childs.
Julio: Huele Bicho!!!
Me:Sorry.Ayo pappi I need a good recipe for burgers…
Julio cuts me off
Julio: I thought you quit the red meat? Man you can’t stick with shit,cabron!!!
Me: Ayooo mother….
I get cut off once again
Julio: Seen ber-guen-sa
Me: Nah bro.Without red meat.I want a Pulp Fiction type delicious burger without the red.Something that is tasty but healthy stupid!
Julio: Stop fronting you aint healthy.Yoou broke!!So I know your broke ass got tuna!!!

So after a few more insults from Julio we kicked the Willie Bobo and then he blessed me with this genuine artifact….

Julio Child’s Famous Spicy Tuna Burgers
Serving: 4 burgers

This is really simple and healthy.


2 cans solid white albacore tuna (drained)
2 and a half tablespoons of seasoned bread crumbs
2 large egg white
2 teaspoon lemon-pepper seasoning
2 tablespoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon of Sazón
(Optional) Fresh parsley,tomato,lettuce,avocado.

Directions: Mix all ingredients (including parsley if you have it) together in small bowl. Form 4 patties and cook on a pre-heated non-stick pan sprayed with non-stick cooking spray until tuna patties are browned. Sprinkle some regular pepper over the burgers mid way through.And some adobo.Serve with beds of lettuce,sliced avocado, and sliced tomato on whole wheat bread or buns.

If you didnt get the Tonedeff refrence (Baaaaaaaaaam)
Tonedeff – Spanish Song

QN5 – NY Hiphop

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